I'm going off the beaten track of what I usually write about here,and I want to preface that this entry isn't for those who recently lost a loved one,or just received a not so great diagnosis,or just experienced an accident. Having my Dad pass in April of 2017 and then breaking my knee in October of the same year,last Christmas day was an extremely challenging time on all levels......especially spending it entirely alone.
(everyone I knew had commitments to be other places on the 25th) However,what inspired me to create the above quote was how to handle this Christmas/Yule Season without any family,and friends who "aren't into it?"
It was my Mom who instilled the love of the Holidays in me- she loved a flocked well lit and decorated tree,streamers on the ceiling,carols,and a lot of cooking. As this year progressed,I wondered how I would handle this Yuletide season,knowing that those near and dear are either "wounded emotionally" and cocoon at home on the 25th,or are at gatherings they don't really want to be at,but haven't learned to put up boundries and just say no to the invites. And of course some are out of state staying with family that they do want to see.
So.......while pondering how I was gonna handle this month,I most certainly didn't want to wall off my heart or go into a funk. That was how I spent last year.....in deep grief and feeling miserable. ( I know that grief is natural and necessary,but I really didn't want it to be a new tradition in December)
I'm a member of "The Shine Tribe",run by Brit and Chris Carmichael. One of Brit's great quotes is "buy your own damn flowers" meaning get them for yourself instead of waiting for someone else to do it as a gift to yourself cause you deserve to be treated special!
So taking that as an inspiration,I suddenly realized my holiday joy must come from within,not from outside myself. Not from someone bending to my agenda or living up to my expectations. No one I know has the love of decorating,feeling the joy of Yule.like I do.
Rather than be disappointed when those others aren't excited about decorating the tree,playing carols,or getting a thrill out of seeing other yards being decorated.I can simply do so myself this year. And this year won't be like future years. Who knows? Next Christmas I may find myself with those who love this time of year every bit as much as I do. Most disappointments in others comes when they don't meet our expectations- when we expect them to be different from how they truly are.
Those who don't care for December joy were more than likely deeply hurt at some point during this time- maybe once,maybe multiple times,and they don't realize that they can let go of the past at any time they choose,and start anew. Most the time these folks instead put all the worst past Christmases on auto replay for the present year,and make it a miserable time for themselves. It's like super imposing a crummy photo on top of a nice new one. For those souls I have much compassion.
Part of my realizing my joy is up to me was when I asked myself how would I be feeling if this were March? Or June? That's when I understood my starting to "dread" this Christmas was in my head and the mental/emotional tapes I decided to play from last year because of it. Altho I loved my Dad dearly,his Christmases were horrible in childhood thanks to his stingy and heartless Father. No matter how much I tried,my Dad tolerated Christmas and never felt the magic of the season. Which is a shame.
To remedy any "Holiday blues",make a "joy list" fr yourself. What lights you up this month?Seeing lights? Going and seeing other yards made all festive? Playing carols? Having a candle all aglow on the dining room table? Ice skating? The smell of a tree lot? Whatever sparks holiday joy in your heart,make the time for it- even if you're the only one doing it. Give yourself the Yuletide you've been wanting!
And in doing so,you shine your light brightly. Shine,and let others be lit by your glow. You shining with Joy and magic ignites others to do the same.
(everyone I knew had commitments to be other places on the 25th) However,what inspired me to create the above quote was how to handle this Christmas/Yule Season without any family,and friends who "aren't into it?"
It was my Mom who instilled the love of the Holidays in me- she loved a flocked well lit and decorated tree,streamers on the ceiling,carols,and a lot of cooking. As this year progressed,I wondered how I would handle this Yuletide season,knowing that those near and dear are either "wounded emotionally" and cocoon at home on the 25th,or are at gatherings they don't really want to be at,but haven't learned to put up boundries and just say no to the invites. And of course some are out of state staying with family that they do want to see.
So.......while pondering how I was gonna handle this month,I most certainly didn't want to wall off my heart or go into a funk. That was how I spent last year.....in deep grief and feeling miserable. ( I know that grief is natural and necessary,but I really didn't want it to be a new tradition in December)
I'm a member of "The Shine Tribe",run by Brit and Chris Carmichael. One of Brit's great quotes is "buy your own damn flowers" meaning get them for yourself instead of waiting for someone else to do it as a gift to yourself cause you deserve to be treated special!
So taking that as an inspiration,I suddenly realized my holiday joy must come from within,not from outside myself. Not from someone bending to my agenda or living up to my expectations. No one I know has the love of decorating,feeling the joy of Yule.like I do.
Rather than be disappointed when those others aren't excited about decorating the tree,playing carols,or getting a thrill out of seeing other yards being decorated.I can simply do so myself this year. And this year won't be like future years. Who knows? Next Christmas I may find myself with those who love this time of year every bit as much as I do. Most disappointments in others comes when they don't meet our expectations- when we expect them to be different from how they truly are.
Those who don't care for December joy were more than likely deeply hurt at some point during this time- maybe once,maybe multiple times,and they don't realize that they can let go of the past at any time they choose,and start anew. Most the time these folks instead put all the worst past Christmases on auto replay for the present year,and make it a miserable time for themselves. It's like super imposing a crummy photo on top of a nice new one. For those souls I have much compassion.
Part of my realizing my joy is up to me was when I asked myself how would I be feeling if this were March? Or June? That's when I understood my starting to "dread" this Christmas was in my head and the mental/emotional tapes I decided to play from last year because of it. Altho I loved my Dad dearly,his Christmases were horrible in childhood thanks to his stingy and heartless Father. No matter how much I tried,my Dad tolerated Christmas and never felt the magic of the season. Which is a shame.
To remedy any "Holiday blues",make a "joy list" fr yourself. What lights you up this month?Seeing lights? Going and seeing other yards made all festive? Playing carols? Having a candle all aglow on the dining room table? Ice skating? The smell of a tree lot? Whatever sparks holiday joy in your heart,make the time for it- even if you're the only one doing it. Give yourself the Yuletide you've been wanting!
And in doing so,you shine your light brightly. Shine,and let others be lit by your glow. You shining with Joy and magic ignites others to do the same.
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